THIS morning, the monkeys gathered around the majesty of my naked personage and I ordered them to address me as ‘King Chewbacca.’To enforce this idea, I taught them the wookie growl, and this is to become the Ubud Monkey Forest party anthem.
Interesting fact about Ubud monkeys #1: they can write. They stood in a long line, which ended at the roots of the tree, to show off to their king what was likely to be pages of a masterpiece, beginning with ‘It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.’ I prodded the smuggest monkey off the branch with my sceptre because unfortunately I couldn’t understand the noble Balinese language, and they made me feel stupid.
Some monkeys can write in English. Abu wrote this manuscript about a bespectacled boy who discovers he’s a wizard.
The plot is very familiar. I suspect he’s plagiarised Spiderman.
Jo-Jo even speaks a few words. Mostly ‘Get the bloody hell away boss man. You don’t eat my tail,’ which could possibly be a token of respect in Balinese.