Meet the Monkey: The King’s Paw


I HAVE ringworm. I call the one on my shoulder ‘wormy’. The other three on my stomach don’t have names yet.

For some reason the monkeys have quarantined me to my throne room this week, with no company except for a few birds.This means there is little inspiration for this week’s blog post. So it’s a perfect time to introduce a new section of this blog, Meet The Monkey.

You’ve met* the monkey king, now meet his monkey citizens. Today’s guest is:

MEET THE MONKEY: WITH JO-JO

The Monkey's Paw: Jo-Jo.

The Monkey’s Paw: Jo-Jo.

Profession:  Evil Vizier The King’s Paw

As the King’s Paw, I pretty much organise the logistics of the Ubud Monkey Kingdom and do the things the monkey king is too lazy to do. Duties include;

–          Manipulate monkey council to do my bidding.

–          Wash King Chewbacca’s dishes.

–          Plan events and celebrations.

–          Head diplomatic discussions with human governments, and other monkey kingdoms.

–          Repeat everything the Monkey King says, but in a loud booming voice.

–          And as a side project, sending gift baskets.

Hates: Backpackers. They are always carrying big packs on their backs. What’s with that?

Likes: Balinese taxi drivers. They do a good job.

Birthplace: Ubud Monkey Forest fountain.

Religion: Buddhist.

Favourite book: Eat, Pray, Love. It totally changed my life.

If you could go out on a date with one celebrity, who would it be?: Bubbles the monkey. I have heard it said he has excellent table manners.

What would you do on this date?:  We would take a moped down to Kuta and visit Waterbom Bali.

Relationships: I have four kids. Each to a different father. So yeah, plenty of sex if that’s what you’re asking relationships.

My opinion of King Chewbacca the Monkey King: He needs a woman. Fast.

View on monarchy: One person should not have the excuse “I’m a king” to get out of doing the dishes.

Favourite blog:  I object to this question. This is just a cheap way to endorse another person’s blog. But…well…I’ve just been urged to recommend Word Journeys. I like reading travel blogs of places I have never been to before, and the optimistic cynicism is well intertwined in the narrative.

*Most of you haven’t actually met the monkey king, because I’m illusive and mysterious.

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Categories: Meet the Monkey | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Meet the Monkey: The King’s Paw

  1. ugh ringworm 😦 that sucks. hope you’re all better quickly. on the up side… looking forward to meeting more of the monkeys.

  2. Using a fictional monkey king alter ego to get yourself (sex) a relationship – smooth.
    Optimistically cynical? Hmmm. They’re both very important ways to view the world. Hopefully they don’t cancel each other out, though.

  3. Cheers for the shout out Your Highness.

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