Meet the Monkey: My nemesis Rafiki

This is our third post on our Meet the Monkey section. Today you get to learn all about my arch-nemesis….Rafiki the baboon!

Profession: evil wizard, head priest.


Rafiki (right)

First mention in All Hail the Monkey King: It is mentioned in Animal Onesies to Wear to a Party, that the monkey king needs a costume to attend Rafiki’s onesie party.

Birthplace: Somewhere in Africa. Not entirely sure where. I don’t think I’ll ever know. Because it’s a big place. Now stop wasting my time with these questions.

How you came to be in Ubud: There was an online job advertisement requesting a monkey priest in Ubud. I thought, “I could do that”, and so I went for the interview on Skype. I got the job, and so I travelled by boat, from a South African zoo.

Arch-enemies: The Monkey King. I hate him and he should die. (Rafiki has never gotten over the Monkey King accidentally burning down his veranda in that ill fated onesie party.

Religion: Hinduism. I’m the head priest of the temple of Hanuman.

If you could go out on a date with one celebrity, who would it be?: Is Hanuman a celebrity?

MK/ No.

Rafiki/ Ooh, I know! Tom Cruise!

Ripped from

Ripped from

 What would you do on this date?: Well, it wouldn’t be a “let’s make out” sort of date. I’ve taken a vow of celibacy, and besides, it’s Tom Cruise. What would he want with an old male monkey like myself? No, we would just go for a cup of coffee made from Balinese coffee beans, and we’ll discuss all his movies in detail, from Endless Love, to Mission Impossible, to Rock of Ages!

(Breaks out singing) I WANT TOOOO ROCK!

Relationships: Vow of celibacy remember. But if you want to know a secret…my vow of celibacy isn’t because I’m a head priest. I made the vow after I realised I didn’t want another annoying daughter.

My opinion of King Chewbacca the Monkey King: I wish Shiva would visit early, and kill him.

MK/ Hey! That’s a bit dark, don’t you think!

Rafiki/ Well, everybody dies at some point. I just wish you would die earlier than the universe intends.

View on monarchy: It has a lot of merit, as long as the king (or queen) isn’t a buffoon. An idiot. A jack-ass. A….(goes on like this for another 10 minutes).

The End

Categories: Animal photography, Meet the Monkey | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Meet the Monkey: My nemesis Rafiki

  1. Geez, for being a hindu priest, Raffiki is a bit vindictive. Here’s to hoping he finds some peace and moves on from that unfortunate accident.

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