FOUR men killed my fiance and I. It feels strange writing that sentence. As over-dramatic as a Hollywood movie. I traveled across South-East Asia, hoping I would find them. My monkey guide – Jack – knew where they were. He led me to a red light district in Singapore and showed me my first target. And I defeated Tin-Tin. He threw knives at me, but I dodged them. He was upset, because apparently he never misses. Tin-Tin set his rabid dog on me too. But Jack likes eating dog, so it worked out well for both of us. Energised from our dabble into Asian cuisine, Jack and I tracked down T-Bird, Skank, and Funboy.
We found them in a shotgun shack in Indonesia. So we decided to spook them out a little.
They were there to visit their king-pin, who had ordered the attack on my fiance and I. He ordered the attack because he enjoyed the idea of chaos, fear, and the idea of anti-establishment among the community. His name is the Joker. He saw me come in and he clapped his hands and he said “well done. But now you’re gonna die.”
(Mojo: “This story doesn’t even make sense anymore!”)
The Joker and his crew shot me with
tommy guns bazookers SMGS . When the bullets did not hurt my phantom body, they realised that maybe the source of my power was Jack (the monkey who resurrected me), so they shot him. Jack dodged the bullets using the power of the Matrix, and said “I’m out of here. Have fun boss,” and ran away.
(Mojo: “Well, where did he go?” Monkey King: ” Um, somewhere fun.” Mojo: “Like Scandinavia?” Monkey King: “Yeah, Scandinavia. He went there. Now shut up, I’m finishing a story here.” )
I defeated each of the villains one by one. Then at the end, as I stood over The Joker, I knew it would be wrong to kill a clown, so I tied him up and called the police. Then I went back home and jammed on the guitar. And I lived happily ever after.
If you had no idea what the hell just happened, maybe you just need to start this story from the beginning