I HAVE written a list of 20 things you could get a monkey king for his birthday. This list will be useful if you know a monkey king and it’s his birthday soon, and you don’t know what to get him. However, it is Christmas soon and I believe this list can be applicable for childlike men who love their freedom.
Coincidentally, it’s my birthday next week. But this is irrelevant.
Anyway, you could start by getting:
– A real live Pokemon. But if you can’t catch one, then I will settle for an exotic animal disguised as a Pokemon. EXCEPT: don’t get me a goldfish and say it’s a Magikarp. DON’T. YOU. BLOODY. DARE.
– A date with Taylor Swift (if you are in a position to make arrangements, reassure her that I wouldn’t be sleazy or nothing. I’m happy with a coffee and a chat about what inspires us to write)
– What every guy wants. A hover board. Even if its pink
– A mailbox (well, I do need one)
– A replica of the Mcleod sword (Highlander)
– Sonic screwdriver
– Time machine (yeah, I know, there’s just as much chance as dating Swift)
-An army of ninjas OR a troupe of Scottish soldiers
– A pet gorilla
-Electric collar for Bitey our white tiger
– A mini-me of me
– My dream car. A 1992 Diahatsu Charade.
– A chance to hang out with Green Day, but I would settle for Weird Al
– Packet of jellybeans
– The Bill Hicks biography
– World peace (I know, what a wanky thing to put on the list, but seriously if you were in the position to achieve this, you should totally do it. I wouldn’t even expect you to get anything else, as long as I get some sort of dedication for this achievement)
– A Monopoly board accompanied with promises of immunity (no fingers crossed you cheats!) if I land on your hotels
– Free hugs