I had hoped that the Bundy Rum bear would visit Ubud to celebrate my 24th birthday with me. Despite all the letters I sent out, I never heard back from him. It was my birthday earlier this week, and he wasn’t there. So I proclaimed he would be an enemy of the kingdom.
But last night I received a lengthy comment on my WordPress account, that I wish to share:
DEAR MONKEY KING
I hear that it is your b’day. Happy 24th, you crazy old bugger!
I am not the Bundy Rum bear, though for you I wish I could be. In fact, I’m not even sure he really exists. Like any minority, polar bears all know each other. Besides, a free polar bear giving out alcohol seems a little too good to be true.
My name is Inuka, and I am a star attraction at the world famous Singapore Zoo.
I have heard tales of your exploits. Some of the birds (mainly the charitable and religious hornbulls) sneak out of their cages at night and tell tales to the isolated exhibits (like me!). They are the zoo’s grapevine, a way for us all to connect (who needs the local cafe, am I right?). They usually get the stories about you from the monkeys…and who knows where they get them from. Rumour has it that BJ (a proboscis monkey) owns a T-shirt with a printing of you on it. Tell me, are you in the band The Doors, or am I thinking of someone else?
Is it true you took out a bunch of lesbian vampires living in Ubud? And that you all had a good time at the Boom Boom Bar? And that you also rose from the dead to seek revenge on your killers? And that you escaped a deserted island by riding on sea turtles?
I wish I could come to Bali and be a part of these adventures. But it would be too hot and expensive to my kind keepers. Instead, I will ask the birds to pass this long message to an animal that can write it down. I believe the orangutans have internet privileges and can find your blog.
I also wish I could wear shining armor so you could ride me into battle. We’d make a ferocious sight! You’d chop enemies with your sword, and I’ll chomp off their head.
Even though life forces us behind barriers that we can never break through, may we never stop believing that we can follow our far-fetched ideas.
Keep living the dream!