I’M SICK of being propositioned by suitors. In an effort to get me hitched, Jo-Jo (my Monkey’s Paw) has been encouraging the many suitors to advance upon me. They would try to get to me at night if I hadn’t thought of fixing the walls and padlocking the doors of a local trader’s back shed in which I am currently residing in.
The most aggressive of them is a woman monkey I call “Scar-face”. She’s a bit suggestive.
I’m too scared to talk to her, and it’s not because I care what she thinks. Yesterday, Scar-face told me she had rabies, bit me on the neck, and offered out some sort of syringe which she said I needed to take as soon as possible if I didn’t want to die a most painful death.
“I’ll give it to you,” she tittered. “But you have to put a ring on it first.”
“I think we’re done here,” I said, climbing to the top of a tree and waiting for the first signs of madness. Or whatever symptoms humans get for rabies.
I’m not mad yet! And maybe I can fight the madness away by shrieking at the top of my lungs.
- “Hey beautiful”
Categories: Animation, Humor
Tags: animation, Bali, Humor, humour, Indonesia, monkey animation, monkey drawing, Monkey King, monkeys, romance, Sacred Monkey Forest, Scar-face, sleazy monkey, suggestive, Ubud
I HAVE fought so much temptation since I found my smart phone near the creek. I have not posted stupid Bitstrip photos to Gina, the girl I have a crush on. It’s stupid and immature. I know that now.
Last week we flirted a little using Bitstrip. Though she might say otherwise. She sent the last Bitstrip photo and I meant to send another one, but Jo-Jo threw the phone away so I wouldn’t retaliate.
Anyway, she sent me another Bitstrip photo this morning!
Okay, so maybe it is true. Maybe I have visited her office a lot lately with a retinue of monkey bodyguards (with the excuse that I have a few hot scoops for her). And sure, maybe there might have been a few pens that were dropped. And sure, maybe she might have seen my arse the seven or eight times I bent down in my skinny black jeans.
But she has just brought on ROUND TWO!
So I sent her a nice photo.
To which she replied:
Gina: Ha Ha Ha. You have made a powerful enemy, my friend.
Monkey King: Ooh, who?
Gina: Didn’t anybody tell you not to annoy a TV presenter?
That’s when I probably took it way too far. She never replied to my next one.
Categories: Animation, Humor, Romance
Tags: Bali, Barbie Girl, Bitstrip, Bitstrip war, dating, dolls, Facebook, flirting, Gina, Indonesia, love, Monkey King, monkeys, romance, Ubud
THE monkeys love it when I tell them stories. They think I am a great storyteller. And it helps them get to sleep sometimes. I’ll tell them the classics, like how monkeys learn to count in a low socio-economic New York suburb called Banana Street, or how giant alien robots that turn into giant monkeys land on Earth in the middle of a civil war.
But tonight I will share another popular story with the monkeys, and with you (they really do get a kick out of your likes and comments). Tonight…you will hear about:
THE MONKEY VIGILANTE
People once believed that when someone dies, a monkey carries their soul to the land of the dead.
Now, calm down monkeys, don’t freak out or I will stop telling this story! Abu! Stop pulling Mojo’s hair right now. I mean it! Okay, at least it’s a gentle tugging now. Anyway…
And queue kick-ass revenge story. Now, go to sleep monkeys. Shut up Jo-Jo. You don’t get to hear what happens until the next blog post.
Click for Part 2
Categories: Animation, Bedtime stories
Tags: bedtime stories, Bitstrip, creative, drawings, funny story, Humor, humour, Indonesia, monkey, Monkey King, parody, pictures, revenge, The Crow, Ubud, vigilante