For a while now I have wanted to interview my South African mate Lutie while he was drunk for this blog, just to give you an idea of some of the conversations my friends and I have. Since he’s leaving for Spain (or China) soon instead of sticking with Peru, I figured Thursday night was the best time to ask him a few questions.
So here you go:
Lutie: This is an interview with myself. It is like the best interview ever because I’m awesome, so it’s quite fun.
So what are your plans for tonight? I will hopefully go out and hopefully get a girl or some love or anything or probably just get a headache tomorrow, and you? Sounds like my life every day. Oh well, we should go hang out some time. I do that quite often.
Burnzy: I can’t believe I got paid in 8100 rand (South African currency) a week for this shit.
Nicola: Why are you talking about Rand? (Given that Burnzy is Australian).
(Note: Burnzy wanted to sound impressive bragging about his salary if he was paid in Rand).
Lutie: Because I told him about the exchange rate. Do you know what’s the rand? I know what’s the rand. Burnzy knows what’s the rand. This is like a monologue, ay.
Burnzy: Why would you go to China?
Lutie: I’m going to make some money and there are Spanish institutes. Spanish institutes…by train. Have you heard how quick Chinese trains are? It’s bvvvd, and I’m there learning Spanish and I’m like ‘Hola! Gracias!’ and then I’m back and then I’m like ‘hey guys, how is life? It’s awesome.’
Nicola: How does a train go?
Lutie: Bvvvd, and you’re there and it’s like a bullet train. And then I have learned Hola and Gracias and Ciao and Hasta La Vista, Baby.
Nicola: You learned three whole words.
Lutie: Yeah, and I did it in a second and I just traveled 130 kilometres. Like, why wouldn’t you? Life is good.
Nicola: Life is good if we’re all together.
Lutie: That is not right.
Burnzy: How have you found the Peru adventures so far?
Lutie: Peru is awesome. I really liked it. How did you find it?
Nicola: 10 seconds and he’s already leaving.
Lutie: No, Peru was awesome. I took a swim in this amazing ocean and 10 condoms hit my head and they were knotted so you know they were used so kudos to those lucky guys. They don’t want those juices to make the ocean saltier.
Burnzy: I don’t know how I’m going to use that.
Lutie: Oh yeah, no, use that, please. Okay Burnzy, stop.
Burnzy: Oh no we continue with this train of thought. Why did you want to come to Peru?
Lutie: The culture and soccer and Spanish.
Nicola: well you can have two out of three so stay. So you can have culture and Spanish. Soccer is not as intense.
Lutie: It’s not as intense but I packed up my whole life in South Africa for soccer and I could not find anything.
This got deep real quickly, from ‘baaah’ to me crying. blaaah.
Burnzy: How is Tinder?
Lutie: Tinder is great. Tinder, tinder. Tinder (whispers). Tinder (whispers, then laughs).
Burnzy: Yeah, this is the end of this. You fucked this up.